So, I've been trying to take note of gender dynamics in Ethiopia, not just cause I'm the new gender "advisor" at work. I'm halfway attempting to blend in, largely because I can. But I have to get better at understanding how things work in terms of gender in this cultural. Last night, one of my new 'friends' invited me out to a bar with him and some friends. I go and I'm looking around and notice that I am literally one of maybe two women in the entire bar. There are lots of men there, sitting in groups, drinking beer and talking. But I definitely caught some glances from men around the room. At first I was a little uncomfortable, but once I just focused on the group I was with, it was okay.
We went to another bar and there was a much better mix. I asked one of the people I was with if Ethiopian women didn't go to bars. He said that they don't go by themselves or with just a group of women. Bars are more for men or mixed crowds. Sigh, way to stand out. This is an interesting place. I've been told the men are shy. Then, I was told the women are shy. I'm trying to figure out how people start dating if everyone is shy. Obviously, people are getting together somehow, given the number of bridal shops and the fact that Ethiopia has the seventh highest population growth rate in the world.
I also heard something disturbing at work today. Apparently, the American couples that are more likely to get divorced are those whose husband is not directly employed by the Embassy (i.e. his wife is the diplomat and he follows her around the world from post to post). I already had an idea that there weren't a lot of men who volunteered for career instability and stunting (which may not necessary be the case but that's my impression). When you move to a new country every two years, it's not guaranteed that you will be able to get a job at every post. Ethiopia is a particularly difficult post for spousal employment. It's frustrating because women are almost expected to let their careers be second to their husband's. For men to do so is rare. I remember my mom telling me that she didn't get her masters because both of them couldn't chase their careers. Some spouses are able to develop great careers (in terms of doing something they enjoy) but that may also be while sacrificing upward career mobility because you're never in one place for very long. Does this mean I'm doomed? Or that I'll have to sacrifice my career as a diplomat in order to do the family thing? I hope not. :-/
I hope not either
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