I have never at any point in time in my life, been made to feel less attached to a culture than I have since I moved here. This is all due to my name. Everyone here has a meaning attached to their name (as they do in many cultures); I can respect that. Wonderful, you have wished peace, prosperity, kingship, fortune, fame, patience and all kinds of virtues and proverbs into your children's lives. Awesome. But when I tell people my name, they automatically ask me what it means. And while I've looked it up before, I definitely don't carry the meanings in my pocket to be pulled out for such an occasion. In addition, they have the hardest time spelling my name. At first they added a 'C' (no, they didn't substitute the S for a C...they literally added a 'C' to the name. Sch....). People continue to insert an extra 'a' in my name (and spell it that way) even though I try to correct them; so now it is a three syllable name instead of two. And they do this even when they are copying it down from an official document or identification. I watched a person at the telecommunications store look at my driver's license and STILL spell my name wrong. Not only can they not fathom that it doesn't have a meaning (or that I don't have it ready for quick-retort), but they cannot pronounce or spell it correctly. Maybe its some sort of punishment for not remembering the meaning-- like..well if it has no meaning (or you can't remember it), then I guess its not really important that we preserve the integrity of it, is it? Great. It happens to white people too, I've seen. One of my co-workers has a 'regular' white name and she just tells people her name is Nancy to make things simpler. I know of several people in the office actually, who have used some variation of their name to make it easier.
So I looked up the meaning of my name (which I've done before). Obviously, I couldn't find it using the spelling my parents gave me. I was always the one who could never find the ready made magnets and keychains at the amusement parks and souvenir shops. It's fine. I remember my parents got myself and my sister wooden ones one year from Busch Gardens. That was really special (cause she also faces a similar predicament). Anyway, my name means 'song'/'singer'/'she sings'...or 'rocky land'. It's French (I told y'all I'm high class). I've been taking Amharic and people think I'm Habesha (Ethiopian) so maybe if I can just convert the meaning of my name into Amharic, I'll be straight? Maybe? Either way, the whole interaction smacks of superiority....I can hear them thinking "Black Americans...they have no culture". I CAN HEAR IT! With the help of my American, Amharic speaking colleague...my name in the streets is now going to be Zefanesh, Zefan for short. The next time I meet a non-colleague, this is what I'm telling them. One of the drivers already told me I should tell people I'm Ethiopian, but I just spent a lot of time in the States. That's going to be my new story. Staying true to my roots but ending the destruction of my given name. Keep this in mind folks when you start naming your kids...my name has been destroyed before in the States, but never as tragically as here :(
woooow that sucks, Spam (you should have told them your name is Spam LOL)
ReplyDeleteSo what does Zefanesh mean in Amharic? I can see how they'd think you're Ethiopian. I "dated" an Ethiopian guy for a quick spell and he said I looked Ethiopian too...maybe it's a light skinned thing.
It's alright to change your name once in a while. I can empathize with you completely, luv. I hope your new name brings more positive energy your way xoxoxo