PB&J

There are things I miss about living alone. I miss cleaning things my way and on my time. I hate that he waits until the weekend to hang up his clothes. During the week, the clothes just end up anywhere (on the back of a chair, on the ironing board, on top of the drying rack for clean clothes, on the bed, etc). Why can't you just put the clothes up, sir!?

I miss no pressure after being around the house all day and not doing a DAMN thing. Somedays, I sit at home ALL day. In front of my computer (or Kindle) or sleep. I don't change out of my pajamas, except to put on my gym clothes for my evening step class. But dishes pile up during the day and I guess I can thank my parents for this, because I feel guilty having sat on my butt ALL day and not washed a single dish. Never mind that it's primarily me who does the cleaning (again, cause I don't wait until the weekend to do it). But I feel bad about him coming home and seeing a (small) sink full of dishes and I am upstairs in my pajamas, with all evidence indicating that I've only moved to eat and go to the bathroom. Shame.

One of the things I miss the most about single living is eating what I want. I try to be a healthy eater in general, given my lifelong struggle with my weight. But somedays, I don't feel like cooking. I would have a bowl of vegetables or cereal for a meal, and happily call it a day. But when there are other mouths to feed (even if its only one), there's more pressure for us to come up with an actual meal. He's not going to have a bowl of vegetables for dinner. So we have to conspire with sometimes an empty fridge to come up with dinner that is healthy and edible, when both of us are feeling lazy. Guess this is what parenting must feel like as well (though...who says kids can't have a bowl of cereal for dinner every once in a while?) And ordering out is a pricier option now that we're ordering for two. Eight dollars for me is worth it on a night I'm feeling lazy but that can easily be $15 or more if you have to think about two people eating. ARGH.

Lots of things I like about having a live-in BF, of course, but I do miss a bowl of Lucky Charms for dinner.

Americaine Perdue

I'm not sure which blog is more appropriate to post on-- here or "Through the Fire". Maybe both. Both are appropriate as I'm taking this bold step into (hopefully) re-defining myself, figuring out what's next for me in terms of my career. I'm taking a year off from my current gig to accompany my boyfriend to France and try to figure out what it is that I want to do. What is my purpose in life? Right now, I have no idea. Do I want to do urban planning? I think so but finding a job in that field, where I have no professional experience, plus convincing a French company that they should hire an American in a country with a high unemployment rate is starting to seem like a daunting task.

I was 'supposed' to start working with this regional planning organization on some translation/ communications and outreach work. Not the job of my dreams but I would learn more about regional planning in the European context, improve my French, and make connections that could lead to longer term gigs.  This was through a friend of a friend of H (my boyfriend) and really, the epitome of how networks make the world go round.  When I went for the 'informal' interview, I spoke with a representative from HR and it was unclear as to whether my visa would allow me to work. I didn't think it would, since its a long-term tourist visa, but they wanted to verify. However, in order to check, I needed to submit all of the paperwork necessary for them to hire me, which included account information for my bank account in France.  The one that doesn't exist (yet).

In order to open a bank account in France, you have to make an appointment, unlike in the US, where you can just walk in and open a bank account (assuming you have all of the documents proving you are who you say you are). The first place I went to didn't have any openings for the next three weeks.  The bank next door had an opening for the next day. I showed up with all of my documents and they told me that I couldn't open an account because I don't have a work contract (which the organization I was applying to work with won't provide me until I could provide bank account information), nor do I have a residence card.  I made an appointment at another bank, where H has an account, and after 2 phone calls, I was given authorization to open an account, after explaining that I can't provide them with any work documents because I don't yet have the job. (And also, why do I have to have a job to have a bank account? That was one of the first questions they posed-- Do you have a job? I can have money without having a job…geesh.)

With my bank paperwork in hand, I took my documents over to the organization I wanted to start working with. I remember walking out of the initial interview, praising God for the opportunities and blessings flowing my way. That day, I turned in the paperwork and we made a plan, with fingers crossed, that I would be able to start work on Monday.

I arrived at the office on Monday and the HR rep had called her boss and was waiting to hear back. After grabbing a cup of tea, the call came in. "Je suis desolée, S, mais tu n'as pas de droit a travailler." (Sorry, but you can't work with your current visa.)  She suggested that I go to the local government office to request a work visa; I tried to explain that I didn't think that I would be granted a work visa without being able to show that I have a job or even a promise of a job. Her response was that I would have a better chance than people from other countries with whom France has more issues (i.e. all African countries). "Sorry to say it but it's the truth". Yet, you said it anyway. According to the interweb and the official government website, it is typically the responsibility of the organization that is looking to hire a foreigner to start the process of obtaining a work visa. It seems that the long and short of it is, for a 2 month gig, they don't want to go through the effort.

Before departing, the HR rep suggested that I could get married and that would help me get a work permit. Oh, really? This isn't the first time this has been suggested-- Get married so you can get a job. I don't even know if this would work-- I would be given a different type of visa and residence permit, which I think would allow me to work but is this really what I want leading me down the aisle?

Tomorrow morning, I'm going to go the city administrative center to see if I can get some straight answers. Better than I started this process now (and see what I'm up against) than to be six months in, jobless, and not even know what my options are. Hopefully, this will be less painful than what it seems.