Sometimes, I’m a hermit. I didn’t realize it until I got here but I kind of enjoy just being at the house by myself. I like to do things around my house and making a to-do list and completing it. Is that craziness? Maybe, but I say no. I think because my friend circle is so small, people always want to hang out. And when you’re battling loneliness, you want to be around people. I combat loneliness with sleep (not the healthiest coping mechanism but it’s healthier than alcohol or drugs). Again, because my circle is small, we’re always looking to meet new people. I’ve talked before about the group of Ethiopian guys that I hang out with and how I don’t want to be dependent on them for my good times. Lovie’s in agreement with me on that one so we want to meet new people but, unfortunately, that can be a draining experience. Oftentimes, these new people that I meet are expats, so it’s a lot of “Where are you from? Where do you work? How long have you been here?” and you have to question whether you want to form yet another superficial relationship with someone you probably won’t talk to once you leave the country.
This isn’t the case for all of my friendships. I’ve made a few substantial friends that I would enjoy spending time with outside of and after Ethiopia. One of my friends just left and we’re planning a reunion in Europe early next year. That’s exciting. When you meet people overseas, you are fortunate, to an extent, to meet people who like to travel. I’ve been lucky in that I’ve found people who are low maintenance but up for adventures.
There have definitely been nights where I’m tired or just feeling all-around funky (and not in a good or smelly way) and just want to stay home. But you don’t meet new people by staying at home. No one is going to come knocking on my gate saying, “Hey, I heard a cool person lives here. Is she home?” It doesn’t work like that. Recently, I was invited to join this group who has potlucks every Wednesday. I was out of town the first week it happened and Lovie told me about when I came back. I was told that the host was responsible for preparing the main dish and everyone else would bring side dishes. I was also told that this was kind of a closed event. So after only attended one potluck, I volunteered to host.
The organizer of this whole thing, Dirty Joke (DJ), came over early yesterday to prepare a dessert. DJ explained to me that it’s not supposed to be stressful (because I was worried that I wasn’t going to have enough food). Whoever could make it would come and then someone would host the next week. We talked more and he told me that it wasn’t supposed to be a closed event, that the idea was to bring new people together and break up cliques that were forming. Of course there are going to be cliques but you don’t want it to come to the point where people are ACTIVELY excluding others, especially when we all see each other at various events, bars, etc. The expat community is definitely very small.
Anyway, last night was nice. Only four people came but it seems that I had just enough food for everyone. I made pork ribs (in the crockpot) and chicken pot pie from scratch, both of which turned out very well. And the company was really good. Sometimes it's nice to get to know people in an intimate setting that isn't a restaurant and just talk about anything and not have to worry about the people at the next table hearing you. We should definitely do these things more often...
